Socially Acceptable People-Stalking

Lately I've been coming up with short, catchy, yet inappropriate, songs that I sing in my head at work as well as share them with Ariel when I get home (because she thinks I'm funny). These songs have diverse topics such as, and not limited to: illegal substances, questionable behavior, racial profiling, and human anatomy. In my defense, these songs just present themselves to me, I don't think of them on purpose. I am not a particularly crude person, I love all races and abhor all illegal substances, yet my brain likes to come up with the most ridiculous tunes that would offend most people, and they never get out of my head.

I made up a new song yesterday, which I will not share on here (but if you ask me in person, I may sing it for you), and have been singing it all day at work. The only problem with that, other than it being horrendously inappropriate, is that when I answer the phone at work, sometimes it's the first thing to pop into my head instead of my normal greeting. I'm pleased to say that so far I haven't said it out loud completely (I did stutter into it once) and I'm hoping I never do, because that's the kind of thing that can offend clients and get me into big trouble. It would be bad, but funny. But bad.

*topic switch*

Since I spend a lot of time on the computer, I have seen my fair share of blogs. They are great ways to get insight into other people's lives (in an acceptable stalker-ish way) as well as learn how to make cool things (like DoItYourself projects on Pinterest).

I believe these blogs are helpful and entertaining, but also affect me in another way. Most of the blogs I read are written by married people. This goes without saying that they blog about their married life. A lot. This helps/does not help me for a number of reasons:

How it helps:

• Seeing how other married couples get over fights and problems in their marriages helps me to prepare for my own future marriage.
• When the blog is written by a male, I see into the man's perspective which, again, will help me in the future with understanding my spouse.
• I can read about cool date ideas that have been tried and tested by real humans.
• If they have kids, they talk about what raising them is really like, because all the information I get is usually glamorized by tv, books, and such.
• It get's me excited to be married some day.

How it hinders:

• If they have kids, talking about them usually makes me want to not have them for a really long time because this is the real stuff people, not glamorized.
• It makes me wish I was married, not only for the companionship, but because it seems like I would have a lot more funny things to blog about. (See how much I love this blog? I'm willing to get married so I can make it better).
• It makes me feel young. A lot of people want to feel young, but for me, I'd like to be viewed as at least an adult. I'm officially out of my teens so I should be an adult by now, right:?
• Reading these "married blogs" occasionally give me anxiety attacks, mainly consisting of thinking "I will never get married!" and "I don't think I could ever be a good wife/mother/blogger!!".
• These things are addicting. I find myself getting mad at the blogger when they haven't posted in a long time and if when they do, it's a short, uninteresting post that consists mainly of a Instagram photo of food. Makes my blood boil. 

So you see, it's a love/hate relationship. Now here's the pressing question of the week: Will I still be funny when I'm married?

(Am I even funny now??)